Stay
by Nebuleste
Summary: Sometimes letting things go is an act of far greater power than defending or hanging on.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:**

**This will probably be a three-shot at most and my first attempt at an "M" rated fic, which actually starts in the second part of this story. In addition, the last **line in this chapter is a quote from Eckhart Tolle.**  
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Sheldon observed her from a distance as she danced with a slightly intoxicated Bernadette and Amy. His hands clenched tightly around the glass of milk as he tried to dismiss the fact that he may never see her again. She was due to leave early in the morning and he could only hope that no significant change would happen to the group.

But in the back of his mind, he knew that something were bound to shift once she's gone.

A lump in his throat formed every time the thought of her moving away crossed his mind. For seven years that woman pushed his buttons and talked to no end about shoes. She would constantly pick an argument and sit on his beloved spot, knowing well it irritated him. Her lack of manners and how unorganized she was baffled him and yet he wondered why he didn't shun her away from the group.

The truth was he platonically loved her. She was the only one that cared enough to stay and take care of him when he was sick. They shared this inseparable bond that no one could break. He valued her friendship and often enjoyed her company. They may fight like siblings but in the end, they would still be the best of friends, always loyal and supportive of each other.

That bond would soon break as a result of the distance between them. Sheldon knew that they may stay in touch for a few months until their lives catch up and they would become strangers living in two different states. He would win his Nobel Prize while she's an acting teacher and maybe married one day. They would have no time to draw up an email to say hello and there would be the inevitable day when they won't give a thought about the other.

He was unsettled with the idea of evolving into strangers. He wanted to ask her to stay and he would help her financially as she continued to pursue her acting career. It wasn't because he was afraid of change, but because he couldn't deal with her moving 1,540 miles away.

Six weeks ago, she broke up with Leonard after getting fired from that awful killer gorilla movie, saying that he deserved someone better than who was a failure at everything. It was hard for Leonard to let the love of his life go and he told her that actress or not, he would love her anyways.

But she had to end it with him. Things weren't the same anymore. She noticed how much more she drank while in a relationship with him to help her forget how her own boyfriend did not support her aspirations and doubted her abilities. She wasn't as happy as before and that was partly the reason why she wanted to break up.

She rarely showed up for dinner afterwards and the one time she finally did, she revealed that she was planning on moving back home. There wasn't much that she could do out in California and she felt that she would be more useful in Nebraska. The group was shocked but understood her decision, even though that they would never want her to go.

Two days ago, she reappeared again at apartment 4A, distressed and sobbing. Sheldon prepared her a cup of coffee as she told him how she didn't want to let go of the people she had met here. She didn't want to leave her tiny place that was across from her best friend but the life she was living at that moment was slowly killing her. She had nothing to prove her worthiness and her confidence in herself was at an all-time low.

Instead of making an inappropriate comment like what everyone else would expect from him, Sheldon held her close as she trembled in his arms. He flinched at her touch but started to ease up when she began to doze off. It was almost as if he was protecting her from all her worries and he knew that she needed someone to comfort her.

No more "Soft Kittys". No more spaghetti with little hotdogs mixed in the sauce dinners. No more arguments about her sitting on his spot or strolling into his apartment uninvited. No more three consecutive knocks followed by her name. There would be no more science lectures or him scolding her whenever she called him "Moon Pie".

He wouldn't anticipate laundry nights as much anymore and the Halo tournaments where the two teamed up together and defeated everyone would never be the same.

"Hey, buddy," a voice spoke and Sheldon watched as his roommate sat on the bar stool next to him. "What were you looking at for a long time?"

Sheldon lowered his eyes and quietly sipped his drink. He never told anyone that he would miss her. He hated being seen as an emotional mess and he tried so hard not to show any signs of it.

Leonard looked at the direction that his friend was staring at before and spotted their blonde neighbor along with her girlfriends. "Were you thinking about Penny?"

He nodded but avoided any eye contact. Sheldon wished to be left alone at that moment but he knew that he needed to vent what he felt before it completely overwhelmed him.

"It's okay to be sad about her leaving, Sheldon. Have you told her that you're going to miss her?" Leonard asked.

Before Sheldon could answer, a small tap on his shoulder and the smell of green apple shampoo caused him to turn his head around. Behind him was the woman he had been staring at all night, displaying a smile that made men's knees weak- including his.

Penny's blonde hair was up in a ponytail and curled at the ends and she decided to wear a leather black dress with red pumps. Sheldon knew how much she loved to go all out when it comes to partying outside and she looked more beautiful than the other ladies in the club. He could feel his heart beat a little bit faster as he tried to stop himself from staring at her for too long.

It felt like the first time he had met her. Even in a blue tee and shorts, Penny managed to capture his attention and he couldn't help but sneak glances of her whenever he thought she wasn't looking. The way her green eyes sparkled and how her smile brightened the room made him bashful that day. Her bubbly personality and hearty laughter would often put a smile on his face.

He had never admitted about how he secretly had a crush on her. He didn't admit it to himself for a long time. Sheldon became attracted to her the minute she stood by his whiteboard and called him a "beautiful mind, genius guy".

No other woman had made him feel that flustered and almost all of them had made fun of his appearance. But Penny never did. She may have teased him but never did she laugh at his looks or how nerdy he was. She accepted him for the way he was and Sheldon loved her for that.

He had to stop himself however. He knew that a relationship would be a distraction to work and he couldn't have that. When she broke up with Leonard, he still didn't try to pursue her. He believed the science came first to romance and frankly, he wasn't as interested as before. He was fine with how things were and had no desire to change anything.

The days leading to her departure made Sheldon realized that those feelings had now resurfaced. They had gradually become more apparent after she announced that she was leaving but he was afraid of the possibilities that may occur if he told her. Growing up, he was constantly rejected by his peers and what if Penny did not find him desirable?

He wasn't like Kurt or Zack with the heavy built body. Leonard, although not as brawny as her two ex-boyfriends, was untroubled by the physical aspect of being in a relationship with her. Sheldon could never hold a person's hand without dashing madly to the bathroom and vigorously scrub any germs that may have transferred onto his skin.

His mysophobia led to the dissolution of the Relationship Agreement he had signed with Amy. It had already been two years since they started dating and Sheldon was still reluctant in giving her what she yearned for; sex. It wasn't that he was ashamed of his body or worried that he may not be able to satisfy one's needs completely, but the thought of exchanging bodily fluids with another person frightened him.

Sheldon found sex to be unsanitary and unnecessary. Its main purpose was only to procreate and with the increasing population in the world, he didn't find the need to contribute in adding more humans to the planet. Sure a progeny of his would be a gift to humanity and he could accomplish it clinically with fertility experts in a lab with petri dishes instead of traditional methods, but he knew he'd be too busy with his research to tend to a future benign overlord.

The memory of him asking if Penny's womb was available for rental made him titter and then-

"Hello? Earth to Sheldon? Are you there?"

Penny waved her hands in front of him and it derailed his train of thought while Amy and Bernadette moved to the where they were clustered at. "I apologize. My mind was occupied with- never mind. What was it that you were talking about?"

"I was telling Leonard how a farewell party for me wasn't necessary. Thank you though for paying my Sangria. Haven't had good drinks at a club for a while since I was always too broke. I promise that this will be the last time I'll use your money," she said as she gave Leonard a grin. "What was so important in your head that you practically ignored our conversation?" Penny playfully poked Sheldon's clad chest with a chuckle. Sheldon stayed silent and glanced down to her shoes. He wanted to talk to her alone and not in a place where the music was blasting through his ears.

"Nothing," he simply replied and drank the milk in his glass.

A beaming Howard and Raj approached the table and slipped their arms around their respective partner's waist. It had been almost a month since Raj asked out Amy and Sheldon could not approve more about the match. He had never seen the two so happy and he was pleased that they weren't lonely anymore. Howard and Bernadette's two year anniversary was in a month and Howard shared his to friends that he was planning on taking his wife to a surprise getaway for the occasion.

Even Leonard was slowly getting back out there. The first few nights since Penny broke up with him included long hours of moping, wailing, and singing to Alanis Morissette and Sheldon had to award him with two strikes after he suffered fitful REM cycles. Three weeks after that, Sheldon's assistant Alex had offered her consolation to Leonard which he gladly accepted. They weren't officially together yet but Leonard knew he had developed feelings for her.

"So Penny how's the party?" Raj asked with pure confidence.

Penny chortled. "Of course it's amazing. I mean a night out to dance and drink at a fancy club? You really have outdone yourself, Koothrappali. Well done. What I'm not used to seeing is Howard actually keeping his hands to himself instead of using lame pick up jokes to get girls."

"That Howard Wolowitz is now retired thanks to this beautiful lady," Howard responded as he squeezed Bernadette's waist.

"Good, or else our kid will wonder why mommy made daddy sleep someplace else," Bernadette blurted out.

A wave of silence erupted among the group before the tiny blonde threw her arms in the air and grinned. "Surprise!"

Howard looked to his wife with shock and love. "Seriously? When did you find out?"

"This morning and I know a club isn't really a place where something like this should be announced but I figured that since this is the last night that we'd be together as a group, I might as well say it now. Again, surprise!"

Howard leaned down to kiss his wife and the mother of his unborn child as everyone else cheered and congratulated the couple. Instead of shaking hands, Sheldon gave them a thumbs up and wished the two the best. In nine months, there would be a new addition to their group, but he knew it wouldn't be enough to replace Penny.

Penny began to tear up and Amy noticed her wiping her watery eyes carefully to not smudge her makeup. "What's wrong, bestie?"

Penny began to sniffle and smiled sadly around her friends. "I'm just going to miss you guys and the way we hang out like this. You're all considered as my family and I love you to bits and pieces. I'm not going to be here to plan the baby shower or help Bernadette pick out maternity clothes. God, I'm so emotional right now and it's ruining our night."

Sheldon placed his hand on top of Penny's which surprised both of them. He looked directly at her and reached inside his pocket to grab his packet of tissues. After handing her one to clean herself up, Sheldon cleared his throat.

"On behalf of everyone here with us today, we are going to miss you, Penny. You had made an impact on each of us that we all cannot thank you enough. You are the glue that holds the group together. Without you, Penny, Howard may have never found love with Bernadette if you hadn't set him up with her. Amy would not be able to express her feelings freely. Raj would not have a place where he could open about himself if you aren't here to plan a girls' night and invite him to one. Leonard may not be able to get over his insecurities without your help."

She couldn't stop herself from crying. Sheldon knew that Penny had always thought of herself as the "dumb blonde" in the group and that was untrue. She was smart and clever in her own way and added something exciting to their group.

"If you weren't my friend, there'd be a hole in my life," Sheldon continued and the others awed at his words. "Kind of like when Firefly was cancelled."

Penny immediately rushed to his side and hugged him. Her tears stained his gray blazer but he couldn't care less. He awkwardly brought his arms around her shoulders and patted her back. "There, there. Sheldon's here."

She pulled away, but not before kissing Sheldon's cheek. "I'm going to miss you the most, Moon Pie."

Penny and the others waited for his usual retort about how his Meemaw was the only one allowed to call him that, but it never came. They all shared forlorn looks before Penny displayed one of her heartwarming and welcoming grins and stood up straight. "I don't want to end the night in crying and with my mascara smeared. Let's just enjoy the company."

Sheldon nodded and watched as the weary blonde pulled her friends onto the dance floor. As the group moved to the beat, Sheldon awkwardly stood behind them and recalled back to all the times he spent with Penny once more. For a brief moment, the two's eyes met and she shot him a loving smile before getting lost in the crowd of other patrons.

He couldn't let her go. He just couldn't imagine himself doing that. It wasn't supposed to end this way. There was still more to their story and he didn't expect an abrupt and painful ending. He couldn't let the woman that made such a difference in his life walk out forever.

But she felt that this was the right thing to do. It seemed to be her only escape through all the problems she had buried herself in and she was in need of a fresh start.

He'd be heart-broken, but sometimes letting things go is an act of far greater power than defending or hanging on.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:**

**I'm pretty nervous about this chapter because I've never written smut before. But here it goes...**

_Knock, knock, knock,_ "Penny?"

_Knock, knock, knock,_ "Penny?"

_Knock, knock, knock,_ "Penny?"

Sheldon knew he was risking getting punched in the throat since it was only 1:54 AM, but all concerns flew out of his mind after suffering from a fitful sleep. He tossed and turned for hours in his bed and knew that this was troubling him more than he could imagine.

He couldn't see himself saying goodbye and watching her walk down four flights of stairs for the last time. The change that follows would be insufferable and he wasn't too sure he'd handle it well like how he thought.

He saw the light turn on from underneath the door and heard Penny shuffling to answer it. With an IQ of 187, surely Sheldon would be able to convince her to stay. It was selfish for him, he thought, but his Meemaw taught him that sometimes he had to fight for the things he love. Sheldon decided that he wasn't going to let her go like that so easily.

"Sheldon?" Penny quietly said as she opened the door slowly. "What are you doing here?"

He didn't realize he was holding his breath until he responded. "I-I came to speak with you."

"It's like two in the morning and I have to get to the airport by ten," she replied but after a moment, she nodded and stepped to the side to let her neighbor in.

Sheldon stayed standing as Penny took a seat on her couch that seemed to be her bed for the night. Her _last_ night.

"What do you want to talk about?" she asked, looking up to his blue eyes.

He sighed and sat down on the cushion beside her. He had practiced the different ways he could approach such topic but sitting so close to her right there made him lose focus and his words.

"Is this about me leaving? Because if it is, then there's not much you can do to change my mind. I'm sorry but I feel like this is my only option right now and there's no other way around it."

Sheldon blinked and sighed. "It would ruin my routines and schedules, Penny."

"This isn't only about you. I have to do what is best for me, sweetie. I can't keep living inside my head where everything is rainbows and happiness. Pasadena was fun at first but now it's becoming like hell. I have nothing in my bank account and it's taking forever to find a new job. I was fortunate enough to sleep in here for tonight because the landlord took pity on me even though I was way behind my rent. Everything is falling apart and I don't want to keep drinking just to hide my troubles," Penny cried as she buried her head in her hands.

"I don't want to leave you guys. I truly don't. I love every single one of you. You taught me that I'm much more than a hot blonde, college-drop out," she continued.

Sheldon stared at her before hesitantly lacing his right hand with her left. This action caused Penny's eyes to shoot up to his face as tears streamed down her face. He could hear her sniffling as he brought his other hand to swipe away her tears with a delicate touch.

Sheldon wasn't much of an expert in understanding social convention, and he couldn't excuse himself to go back into his apartment to make her a cup of tea, so he figured that an appropriate comforting hug was needed to calm a distressed Penny.

_Germs_, his mind screamed as he let go of his grasp on Penny's hand and wound his arm around her back. Penny appeared to be confused about his intentions before enjoying the warmth he gave her and scooted herself closer.

And then they both found themselves cuddling on her small couch.

"What's this for?" Penny wondered as she tilted her head up to look at her neighbor- the one whom she thought had no feelings and basically acted like a robot. But tonight, she was definitely seeing a different side of Sheldon. A warmer and caring one. He wasn't screaming or complaining about germs as he held her close to him.

She loved this new side of him.

"A goodbye," he simply replied as he tightened his arms around her.

Sheldon leaned his head back against the couch but noticed that Penny was still staring at him. There was something in her eyes that puzzled him and his mind went to a million thoughts. They gazed at each other for a while before Penny lifted her neck and brought one of her hands to cup the side of Sheldon's face. Her soft skin on his cheek caused him to blank out and he shut his eyes, trying to relax his tense body.

It wasn't until he felt her lips on his did he open his eyes again and watched as Penny kiss him. He was bewildered. He should have pushed her away immediately but he found himself taking pleasure in the sensation and before he knew it, he was beginning to kiss her back.

_Strawberry_, he thought as he tasted the chap stick on her lips. They were soft and fitted perfectly into his. He gasped when he felt her warm tongue dart his lips, requesting for entry and he reluctantly opened them.

It was becoming too much. They were friends and he knew that friends don't make out for that long. Friends don't make out, period.

He gently pulled away and he heard a faint moan escaping Penny's mouth. She looked frightened, like she had done something wrong and seemed worried that she probably broke him.

"What was that for?" Sheldon asked as he calmed down his increased breathing. It baffled him how kissing made him feel like he was running a marathon.

"A goodbye," she repeated but before she could do anything, Sheldon sat up and moved slightly away from her.

"Why? Why did you kiss me?"

Penny appeared to be embarrassed with her flush cheeks. She avoided his glance and looked down to the floor. "Because I had to before I leave."

"But why? There has to be a reason for this."

Her voice trembled a bit. "Sometimes we don't do things for a reason. We just do it as an instinct."

"Why now?"

Penny tucked her hair behind her ear and he saw half a smile. "Because I want to know what I could have had if I had taken a different path seven years ago."

Sheldon furrowed his brow. "What do you mean a different path?"

"If I went for you instead of Leonard," she revealed and faced him. "I've never told anyone but when I first met you guys while I was unpacking my boxes, I saw you first. It wasn't because you were taller than Leonard, but you had this look of innocence and you're really handsome. When I tried to flirt with you, you seemed oblivious and uninterested so I gave up. You're a genius and you don't belong with someone who doesn't have much to offer. I loved Leonard, but it's hard when he didn't support me for what I wanted to do."

Was this really happening? She actually considered dating him? He could feel his heart skip a beat (metaphorically, of course) and he didn't notice Penny slowly moving closer to him.

He was scared and confused. He wasn't sure of how to make of this but again his mind ceased thinking when Penny placed her lips on his once more. The blonde that he had loved and cared for years was kissing him the day she was set to leave. It seemed wrong. Very wrong. This moment was definitely going to make it hard for him to say goodbye and he tried to fight off the desire to continue.

But Penny was a big ole' five. She had straddled his lap and began kissing and nipping his skin while his hands held on to the curve of her hips. Sheldon allowed her to touch him freely, the thought of consequences being set aside as he relished the immense pleasure he was feeling of Penny's mouth on his neck. The sensations were overwhelming, and he was incredibly aroused by her actions.

She pulled back and looked at him intently. Sheldon scanned every inch of her face and he deduced that she wanted more. Her lips were red and swollen, and her green eyes were filled with lust, silently yearning to proceed. It was becoming too much of a long pause, and he could sense something else in her. Instead of desire, she showed him fear and uncertainty, and it worried him deeply when she stopped moving.

His quick breaths slowly resumed to normal as Penny climbed off his lap and scooted to the end of the couch, bringing her knees up to her chest and lowering her head as if she were ashamed of what she had done. Sheldon examined her for a minute before reaching out to hold her left hand, running his fingers lightly over her palm and wrist.

"Why did you stop?" He asked with a small voice and he heard her let out a sigh.

"I shouldn't be doing this," she spoke as she pulled her hand away from his grasp. "I-I can't. I'm sorry. I just got carried away and maybe... Maybe you should leave now. It's getting late and-"

Sheldon had moved closer to Penny, and he brought up his hand and tenderly caressed her cheek. He heard her breath hitch in her throat and it reassured him to keep going. Eventually, he slightly parted his lips and she swirled her tongue around his, coaxing him to do the same. He was reluctant at first, but after giving it a try and earning what sounded like a purr from Penny, he mimicked her actions without any more hesitation.

Kissing Penny bemused the theoretical physicist. Not only was he engaging a make-out session with the blonde, he was hoping for it to never end. The exchange of saliva should have frightened and intimidated him, but there he still stayed with his fingers tangled in her long hair as she kissed him with such vigor and passion.

He felt her mumbling words that he could not understand through his skin, and so he gently pushed her back, causing her to pout at him. Sheldon brushed a piece of hair away from her face, which he had admired and thought to be attractive for years now, but had only kept the fact to himself.

"What did you say?"

Penny ghosted her fingertips over his swollen lips before leaning down, her breath tickling his ear as she spoke. "Why? Why now?"

Sheldon bit the inside of his cheek and shrugged. "I've been asking myself that question all night."

"I want more," she whispered and then tugged his earlobe with her teeth.

A shiver ran down his spine and he bucked his hips up unconsciously. Penny smiled as she moved her mouth down to his chest and began unbuttoning his plaid pajama shirt. He assisted her with removing his white undershirt, and then his skin was exposed to the cool air. She raked her fingernails up and down his chest and he felt his heart beat faster as bit back a moan.

Sheldon was torn between ending what they had started and continuing with what could be. If they allowed themselves this one night, how would he be able to say goodbye? Staying in Penny's apartment and drowning in pleasure meant losing his virginity, and it seemed too much for Sheldon to handle in such a short amount of time.

But it wouldn't be just sex or a one night stand. This was to release all the pent up romantic feelings they had for one another when the chance came up. This was to express their regrets and mistakes, and the emotional toll of losing each other before realizing that there was more to their story. This was to reassure that their connection was deeper than what they had thought it to be.

He was willing to be free tonight. Penny meant the world to him, and he would be comfortable with sharing his first time with the woman he trusted the most. Germs and sickness be damned. He was going to enjoy his last moments with Penny, and he's not letting his fears get in the way this time.

Sheldon traced the outline of her lip with the tip of his tongue before gently biting her bottom lip. Her soft moan was music to his ears and he immediately repeated what he had done. Meanwhile, Penny was working her way day to the bulge in his pajamas, running a smooth hand over his length as it twitched in its confinements. She cupped it through his pants, making him groan and jerk.

He carefully hooked his fingers through the straps of Penny's tank top, his eyes seeking permission to disrobe her. When she nodded, Sheldon slowly brought her top down and was thankful she wasn't wearing a bra. He recalled seeing her breasts years ago when she fell in her bath tub, but never had he seen them so close. He was quite unsure of where his hands should be, and Penny caught on. She gripped his hand and placed it on her right breast. He cautiously twisted her nipple, and she let out a throaty moan.

"More," she pleaded as he gently pushed her to the side to lie on the couch. Sheldon was now hovering above her, and he touched her lightly on her abdomen. He lowered himself and pressed a kiss on her taunt stomach as one of his hands massaged her breast. He trailed kisses down to where the band of her shorts was, and glanced up to see Penny waiting patiently for him.

Sheldon began sliding her shorts along with her panties off as Penny raised her hips to help him. For the first time in his life, he was face to face with a naked woman and he gulped. "You're beautiful, Penny."

She shot him a smile and laced her fingers with his. "You're so sweet."

Penny pushed herself up on the couch, and Sheldon was now the one lying on his back. She gave him another kiss before pulling his pajamas down to his ankles, his underwear being the final barrier between the two lovers. He was nervous and scared, yet extremely aroused and wanting nothing more but release.

"Do you really want to do this? I don't want to force myself upon you," she asked as she kissed the inside of his thighs.

"I'm... I'm ready."

Sheldon watched as she gave him a single nod and she snaked her small warm hand into his briefs. He felt her grasp on him and it was almost as if the air in the room was gone and it became difficult to breathe. She pumped him slowly, and his knees buckled, hoping the kolinahr would help prevent him from orgasming too soon.

His underwear was finally discarded, and Sheldon knew that Penny was eyeing him closely. A sense of embarrassment washed over him and he covered his erection with his hands. Penny chuckled and batted them away before regaining her hold of his length.

"No need to hide," she murmured as she increased her pace. "You're beautiful, too."

Sheldon shut his eyes tightly when her mouth made contact with the head of his cock. All these new experiences overwhelmed him and yet he was begging for more. She began sucking him like a lollipop, and his want- no, _need_- to be inside her increased. He combed his fingers through her hair as his breath came out in short intervals and his toes curled.

He pushed her away without warning and suppressed his urge to come right away. It took him a few moments to calm his buzzing body down, but he still ached and yearned to be touched again.

"I apologize. I was about to orgasm and I want to-" Sheldon's cheeks reddened and took a deep breath. "I want to make love to you."

The couch was too small to accommodate the two of them, but at that second, Sheldon didn't really care. Penny was on her back while he kissed her hungrily. She stroked him a couple of times before positioning him at her entrance. He could feel the heat radiating from her, telling him that she was ready- ready for _him_. Sheldon looked to her once more, locking his eyes with hers, and then carefully pushed himself in. Her moist and warmness instantly enveloped him and she hooked her legs around his waist, pulling him closer and deeper into her core.

His eyes were completely shut once he was fully inside. Sheldon froze and attempted to regain control since it wouldn't be too long for him to cum. He wanted this experience to be memorable and pleasurable for both him and Penny. He nuzzled into her neck, his lips sensually brushing against her skin.

Penny kissed the side of his face before whispering into his ear, "Sheldon, move. I've got you."

Her husky voice caused him to slowly pull out and thrust back in, engulfing himself in her tightness and warmth once more. With one hand on Penny's breast and the other clutching her right hand, Sheldon repeated the same action, only much faster this time. As his hips ground against hers, Penny encouraged him with breathy whimpers and moans and begged for him to go deeper and faster.

"Penny," he rasped as they finally set a comfortable pace.

Sheldon felt powerful, to say the least. The way Penny writhed and panted beneath his body excited the physicist more and he grew more confident with each thrust. He pounded into her and hoped in his mind that the night wouldn't end and she would still be there in his arms the next morning. He would never want to let her go.

His rhythm began to falter and he knew that he was close. "I love you, Penny," Sheldon blurted out in the midst of all the pleads and the gasps. Once the words left his mouth, he stiffened and became nervous. He searched her face for a reaction to his declaration which was pure truth. It was something he had been carrying for years and afraid of the consequences that may follow if said too soon.

They halted their movements and the sound of their quick breathing filled the air. Penny tilted her head up and smiled. At that moment, Sheldon wasn't sure if he should be afraid anymore. He loved her, and he needed to tell her before the chance to do so never comes back.

"I love you, too."

Sheldon's heart pounded in his chest and he resumed rocking into her. His arms clutched her small body closed to his as the pressure began to unravel. They muttered those three words over and over as they hungrily gave into each other. Sheldon thrusted into her one last time before crying out with her name on his lips and she climaxed seconds after he found his desperately sought out release.

Time seemed to slow down and freeze. Sheldon was no longer the man he had thought to be. He grew up wanting nothing more than to become a theoretical physicist proving String Theory and a future Nobel Prize laureate. Romantic relationships and physical contact were unnecessary and he did not care for them. At least, not until now.

It was just about them during that night. Just Sheldon and Penny. As silence dawned over them, they thought of how things could have been different. They imagined the life they could have had if they realized their true feelings for one another earlier than now.

They were about to lose each other right after finding one another.

"Penny," Sheldon called out after cleaning up a bit, shutting the lights off, and rejoining Penny on the couch where they planned to sleep. "I don't want you to leave."

Even in the dark, Sheldon knew that Penny had a forlorn look on her face. He curled his arm around her as she rested her head on his chest.

"I know, sweetie. I know," he heard her say before he drifted off to sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:**

**Thank you for all the reviews! They each put a smile on my face and encourage me to write more. There is one more chapter for this story and that will be up by next week. Anyways, I hope most of you enjoy this chapter and if you can, tell me what you think of it. I would love to hear your thoughts!  
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Sunlight peeked through the windows of the apartment as Sheldon awoken from his slumber. His back was sore and the light coming from the outside blinded his eyes thanks to the lack of curtains in the room. The clock ticked in the background as he shifted his body on the couch but failed since his blonde neighbor was fast asleep and cradled in his arms. She was snoring lightly and he didn't have the heart to disturb her as she slept.

He stared up to the ceiling as he recalled the events of last night. A smile evaded his face when he remembered the intimate encounter they shared together; the way their bodies were covered in a layer of sweat which made their movements incredibly slick and the sounds they emitted as a wave of ecstasy rushed through them. For his first time, it didn't feel awkward or left him disgusted and wanting no more of it.

It wasn't like anything he imagined. It was a fascinating and satisfying experience.

"You awake?" Sheldon heard Penny's voice and he glanced down to see her eyes open and stare into his blue ones. "Well, good morning then."

"Good morning to you, too," he replied as they both sat up on the cramped couch. He noticed that Penny wasn't wearing a shirt and she pulled the blanket they use to keep warm to hide her bareness.

She reached down and retrieved his white tee and pajama bottoms as well as her purple robe. Sheldon put on the clothes she handed over to him while Penny slipped into her robe and got up to stretch her muscles. He shyly looked away when she bent down again to pick up the rest of their garments they hastily thrown on the floor last night.

Sheldon was unsure of the morning after protocol, so he just stayed seated on the couch as Penny excused herself to use the bathroom. He fiddled with his hands and waited patiently for her to return, but he couldn't help think about how she was when she woke up beside him. He wondered if Penny thought that sleeping with him was a mistake, and he was scared that it might be true. Did she regret what they had done?

Inspecting the living room that he was in, the boxes reminded Sheldon that her departure was only a few short hours away and he let out a desolate sigh. Soon, apartment 4B would be vacant and Penny would be on a flight back home. He didn't think that having sex would change her mind completely and she'd stay instead. It dawned on him that having sex the night before would only make saying goodbye today harder.

He was one of most brilliant men in the world, yet he couldn't figure out a way to convince her to not leave Pasadena behind. Penny was incredibly important to him and he couldn't- _wouldn't_- imagine life without his bubbly blonde dreamer. She was vital to him and he cursed himself for realizing things too late.

But then he asked himself what would be different if he had done something six weeks ago when she and Leonard ended their relationship. She would still have no career and not happy with her way of life in California. The only difference would be Sheldon. Instead of being her quirky neighbor, he would also be her boyfriend. He would support her decisions and build her confidence, not break it down. She would still feel like she had nothing to prove and tired of living as a failed actress.

There was nothing that he could do about that. Penny understood that she had friends- family, she considered them, to live for but with the debt and the absence of a source of income, she needed to do what was best to support herself. Sheldon would have pleaded for her to not leave many times, but he knew she was only suffering and it was difficult to make a better living.

"Whatcha thinking so hard about?" Penny asked as she wrapped her arms around his neck from behind and kissed the side of his face. He turned around to look at her and gave her a soft smile before patting the seat next to him.

She made her way around the couch and took a seat, placing her hands in Sheldon's. He bit his bottom lip and glanced down to his lap, trying to put together his words.

"Are you still planning on leaving us?"

Penny frowned and tucked her hair behind her ear. "Yes."

The truth stung him, but he had expected to hear it. "I understand."

She cupped his face and tilted it up. "Sheldon, I love you. I really do. Last night was one of the most amazing nights I have had and I don't regret any of it. This is painful because I'd have to say goodbye after all of that."

"Will you visit us often?" He spoke with a small voice.

Penny shrugged her shoulders. "I don't have that much money to use on air fees."

"I'll pay."

"You don't have to," she shook her head as she brushed her fingers through his hair.

Sheldon grasped her wrist. "I want to."

"Because you can," Penny said as tears began forming in the corner of her eyes. "You have a stable job that you love doing and actually earning money to support yourself. Meanwhile, I have nothing."

She broke down in sobs as Sheldon held her tightly. His heart broke for her and he wished nothing else but free her from her problems. "You have me."

Penny pulled away and wiped her eyes, smiling forlornly at him. "I know I do. You make me happy and I'm sorry for giving up on what could be us years ago. But I need to feel confident standing on my own two feet before I have someone lean on me. I want to be successful at something and not only be exclusive to relationships. There's more to Penny than just Cheesecake Factory waitressing, partying, drinking, having sex and making out."

Sheldon nodded once and she knew he understood her. He leaned his back against the couch and sighed. "I'm ready to give up String Theory."

"What?"

"I'm ready to give up String Theory," he repeated. "I've been working on String Theory for more than twenty years and I'm no closer to proving it than when I started. As much as I don't want to admit it, Dennis Kim was right all along. My research is a dead end and my prospects of being awarded with a Nobel Prize had diminished."

Sheldon hated being seen as a failure. He and everyone had high expectations for himself, and he usually never gave up on things. He refused to believe that String Theory may never get proven and he continued trying to make the best of what he had. He dreamed of becoming the theoretical physicist who was able to prove the origin of the universe.

He spent most of his life passionately working on String Theory and it caused him to miss out on things growing up. Sheldon was at Germany as a junior professor at the time when his father passed away. He couldn't fly back home to Texas and attend the funeral, and he had never felt so alone in his life back then.

Sheldon would feel ashamed and embarrassed if others found out about his plan on abandoning his research. It was his life's work now being thrown down the drain after many pointed out that proving it would be close to impossible.

"I've often contemplated about moving back home since nothing new shows up in my field of studies, but a part of me wanted to keep going further." Sheldon added and Penny felt sorry for him.

"What are you going to do now?"

"I've been offered to research at other universities. Some of them are even out of the country. There's a small voice in my head saying that I need a fresh start and taking up one of those opportunities would clear my mind."

Penny ran her hand up and down his back and Sheldon closed his eyes. "But I can't leave. My routines, schedules, everything that I have perfected over the last decade when I first moved here- I can't leave those behind. Change is frightening and I don't want any of it."

"But change is good, sweetie," she comfortingly said. "What about the story of your spot on the couch? That sounded like a good change since you're so attached to it."

Sheldon chuckled under his breath. "It was."

"So, if you were to move, where would you pick?"

He went through his offers, but one place was on his mind. "New York."

"That sounds great," she responded. "I've always dreamed of living there."

"Why don't you move with me? You could be my roommate and I wouldn't have to go through a hassle cultivating for one," Sheldon suggested with hope shown in his eyes.

Penny blinked and he wasn't feeling too good about her answer. "I can't. It's even more expensive there than it is here."

He lowered his stance and knew he had exhausted all his reasons for her to stay. Stay _with him_. "It wouldn't be. We'd pay half of the rent and the utility bills. If you can't than I will-"

"I can't take anyone's money, Sheldon," Penny reminded him. "I don't want to be spoon-fed all the time."

They sat in silence as time passes by. Sheldon glanced up to the clock on the wall and saw that her flight would be in three hours. He couldn't think of anything else so he swooped down and placed his lips on hers instead, relishing the feeling of holding her for one last time.

Penny kissed him back before pushing him away. "I have a proposal."

"Go on," he urged her to proceed.

"Once I get back home, I'll work my ass off until I earn a lot of money. If everything works out, then I'll consider moving to New York because there seems to be tons of opportunities there."

Sheldon smiled and kissed the palm of her hand. "Really?"

"Yes," she confirmed. "But it's going to take me a long time to get back up on my feet. I might want to go back to school over in Nebraska or something. Once I feel secure again, I'll go. But I'll only go if you're going."

He froze and thought it over before a conclusion came up. "I accept your proposal. Last night and the events prior to it made me realize how much of a significance you are to me. I trust you the most, Penelope, and I've always loved you for that."

Penny smiled sweetly at him as she laced her fingers with his. "Say that again."

Sheldon cupped both of her cheeks and licked his lips. He was going to have to let the woman he loved go. It wasn't certain that he would see her again even after promising to move to New York once she felt the time was right. He would still have hope. Hope that they would be together. Hope that Penny would be beaming and being the happy Penny he met six years ago. Hope that even if years pass, they would still go back to last night and reminiscent the feel of each other's skin.

"I love you," he repeated, and he'd repeat it again whenever he could.

"I love you, too," Penny said back as she closed the distance between them with another kiss.

* * *

><p>Sheldon stood in the middle of the airport terminal with Leonard by his side as they both watched Penny board her flight. He sighed deeply when she finally disappeared from their sight, and resignedly turned his heel and walked away. Not one tear was shed and he fully accepted what had become. Penny would be gone for who knows how long and he would only have the memories of the time they spent together to comfort him.<p>

The drive home was silent, and Leonard tried to lighten the mood by suggesting they play one of Sheldon's car games. Sheldon eventually cooperated after much badgering, but throughout the ride, his mind couldn't stop thinking about Penny and what happens afterward.

Once they arrived back at their apartment, Sheldon immediately walked into his room and shut the door behind him close. Before Penny left, she handed him a small wrapped box and he promised to open it at home. Shaking the box in his hands to guess what was in it, he sat on his mattress and began tearing the wrapping paper away. He uncovered the box and his eyes settled on a familiar item, and memories of that day began replaying in his head.

It was an orange Penny blossom- the same Penny blossom they created together five years ago. He set the flower barrette aside as he read the accompanying note that was written in her neat handwriting out loud to himself.

_Hey, Moonpie,_

_I'm sorry I had to leave you and everyone else behind. Life in California was an exciting adventure for me and I don't regret moving out there at all. I've experienced lots of auditions and met the most wonderful people on this planet. _

_I know you understand my reasons for leaving and we'll try keeping in touch with emails and video chatting online. We may never see each other again in person since you'll be busy with your life and work and I'll be occupied with getting myself back on track, but do you know the saying "If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, they're yours; if they don't, they never were"? _

_It sounds cheesy but I live by it. We're letting each other go and if we do meet again, then we are meant to be. I hope I see you in New York if you decide to move there. I don't want to believe that we never were, but only fate will tell. _

_I love you, Sheldon. I wish your decisions in life are best fit for you and don't fall under social convention. Remember when you told me that social convention is stupid? Well, don't feel pressurized by it._

_We'll see each other again. I don't know when, but I'll believe we will. We're dreamers, right?_

_-Penny _

Sheldon folded the note and picked up the Penny blossom. He would wait for Penny, and while waiting, he would make sure that the direction of where his life was heading would be the one he felt was right.

Clutching the orange blossom and holding it up to his nose, he could still smell her distinct and intoxicating scent of green apples. "I love you, too, Penny."


	4. Chapter 4

**Three Years Later...**

Sheldon shoved his hands deeper into the pockets of his thick winter coat as he hurriedly crossed the street before the traffic light turned green. Even though he had been living in New York for three years now, Sheldon was still not used to the chilly breezes and heavy snowfall of January. As he walked on the sidewalk heading towards his apartment, his mind thought about the hot chocolate he was planning on preparing for himself the moment he got home. He was already counting the days until the temperatures warm up and he could enjoy buying an ice cream cone from his favorite place down the street.

New York surprised him many different ways. Truth be told, Sheldon was more afraid of moving to the east coast than excited about working at a new university. He was offered a position to research dark matter at NYU soon after announcing to his colleagues that he had no interest in pursuing String Theory anymore and he began collaborating with Raj. He took up that offer rather than going down in a mine where he hated since he experienced life there during a simulation.

He was flourishing as a result of switching to a new field of study. Sheldon was also on the verge of a breakthrough which could eventually lead him to the coveted Nobel Prize he had always dreamed of being awarded with. He was confident about his work and had already begun writing the speech he would say on stage after accepting the accolade.

Though a thousand miles apart, Sheldon never lost contact with the friends he made in Pasadena. They promised to call, text, email, or write a letter to him whenever they could and let him continue getting involved in their lives. It would happen every week or once in every month, but either way, he was still catching up with them. It was difficult to maintain contact when Sheldon first moved, but as time passed, it became part of his new routine.

The last time he spoke to his friends, Sheldon learned that Howard and Bernadette were expecting their second child and broke the news out during their son Michael's third birthday party. It was a sweet gift and the young child was anxious to meet his new brother or sister.

In addition to that, his foreign friend and ex-girlfriend had eloped three weeks ago, and although he couldn't make it to their wedding, he sent the couple an expensive gift as well as a letter, explaining and apologizing for his absence due to work commitments, and wishing Raj and Amy the best in their marriage.

Sheldon had also received an email from his former roommate last night about how he decided it was time for him to settle down, being that he's already in his mid thirties. Leonard was also planning on proposing to Alex, whom he was entirely smitten by and deeply in love with. She had mentioned prior that she too wanted to settle down and have kids, and she had talked about marriage with her boyfriend. Attached to the email were pictures of engagement rings, which Leonard needed help picking out which to present to her.

The group was reaching their happy endings in life, and Sheldon couldn't be any more joyous for them. Who knew the four weird nerds would get married and have children despite being told by the bullies that they would be total loners growing up? His friends were successful in their scientific fields while having normal and healthy social lives. They weren't just men who only played video games all night and talk about Star Trek every single time. One was a father, another- a married man, and the other- a future fiancé to a wonderful lady.

Sheldon was happy about his friends finding love in their lives. Yet, he couldn't help but feel a twinge of sadness when the topic of love and marriage is brought during conversations. For the past years, the physicist had stayed celibate and remained in no romantic relationships. It wasn't just because he didn't try, but it was difficult letting _her_ go.

He hadn't seen her in person since the day she left for the airport. They maintained contact for about three months before their lives overtook them. Sheldon was packing his things and finalizing papers to move to the east, while she had work in the farm and classes in community college. She would be too tired at the end of the day to video chat with him, but would often try to send an email or a short phone call.

And then it completely stopped. Sheldon predicted that it would happen, and his heart felt heavy knowing that it did. The last thing they talked about was her meeting a guy in a coffee shop and that he seemed nice. It hurt him deeply that she might be enamored by someone that wasn't him. However, he didn't say a word. He knew that they had to move on at one point and waiting for too long would not work.

He had trouble accepting that fact. When Raj and Amy flew in to New York to visit him, they had set him up with a young woman who was a well-respected doctor in a local hospital. She was pretty, smart, and had interesting things to stay, but she wasn't her.

She wasn't Penny. Kate had short brown hair and hazel eyes, and was as tall as Sheldon's twin sister. Kate was also born in England so she had an accent every time she spoke, and he missed Penny's Cornhusker vernacular.

It was hard for him to let her go. It was _impossible_ for him to let her go. How could he? Penny was his first love, first intimate partner, and the first woman that accepted him for who he really was and did nothing to change him. They had shared so many memories and knew secrets that they haven't spoken out loud to others.

He still believed, though. He still had faith in the possibility of the two of them meeting again after all this time that had now passed. She would knock on his front door and when he goes to answer it, she would greet him with her lovely warming smile, and he would welcome her with open arms. Sheldon dreamed of that moment happening more often than he would admit. Penny was his love, and he would wait for her even if it meant waiting forever.

Sheldon could remember that day when his friends found out about the night he spent with her. At first, they were shocked, and he had it coming. His friends knew about his aversion to germs and any form of physical contact. It was a surprise for them, and before Sheldon could run to his room and feel embarrassed, Leonard stood up and placed a hand on his shoulder. The taller man looked down to his bespectacled roommate's eye as he told him, "Everything will be fine."

The group was very accepting with the fact that Sheldon was madly enamored with the woman that used to live across the hall. They had helped him through the ordeal as much as they could, knowing that the Sheldon was inexperienced when it came to dealing with those types of emotions. Leonard, Howard, and Raj played Klingon Boggle with the man all night long to cheer him up. Amy took him out for a Train Day while Bernadette accompanied him to the zoo. His friends were trying their very best to brighten his spirit, and he was thankful for them.

When Sheldon finally made it back to his apartment, the sun was beginning to set, slowly disappearing from the horizon. It would be dark soon, he thought, and a new day would arise. After eating dinner and savoring that hot chocolate he promised to make for himself, he walked into the bathroom to shower and brush his teeth.

Once he was finished, Sheldon changed to his Friday pajamas and slipped under the covers. Before closing his eyes, he reached his hand over to the nightstand and grabbed the orange Penny-blossom he had kept even after moving. He made it one of the top things he shouldn't leave behind in California, and he was clutching it throughout the entire flight heading to his new home.

"Goodnight, Penny. Wherever you are..."

* * *

><p><strong>Six months later...<strong>

Sheldon had finished his morning routine and was ready to go to work when he heard loud music playing from outside. He barely had any interactions with the other tenants in the building, and he hadn't met the one living next door.

With a huff, Sheldon grabbed the keys from the bowl and opened his front door. He turned his back around for a second to secure the lock before being face-to-face with several boxes out in the hallway. He rolled his eyes and was about to press the elevator button when a new song came on the radio and a woman's voice begun to sing along with it.

It couldn't be. That voice. He thought he was just hallucinating but it seemed too familiar. He had heard that voice before, yet the last time he listened to it was years ago so he wasn't sure. But it sounded like her. It sounded like Penny.

He slowly approached the open door adjacent to his and cautiously peeked his head in. Holding his breath, He realized he wasn't her. It was another woman, and he didn't need to take a second look. She turned around in surprised and lowered the volume down, inaudibly whispering "sorry" while doing so.

Sheldon nodded his head and proceeded to call the elevator. It had happened before- instances where he thought Penny was there when in reality it was someone else. It always crushed him once he realizes the misunderstanding, and he'd walk away with a heavy heart. All he ever wanted was Penny in his life again. The Nobel Prize was one of them, but she was way up higher. No amount of awards could equal being loved by her, and that was the truth.

With his head down, the physicist stepped out of the elevator, only to clash with another person who was holding a large box. The person stumbled and the contents spilled out onto the floor, and Sheldon was quick to issue his apologies while picking up the dropped belongings.

_Care Bears_, he thought to himself as he retrieved three of them from the ground and placed it in the box. He was too busy giving a helping hand and he didn't even hear his own name being called.

"Sheldon," the person behind him breathed out and he froze.

He stood in the middle of the lobby, a pink stuffed-toy in his hand, when he felt the person tap on his shoulder and he wanted to turn around and face her.

So he did.

And it was her. The woman he had been waiting for a long time.

Sheldon dropped the bear and caressed her cheek with his newly freed hand. She was still so beautiful and youthful, her eyes showing him strength rather than pain the last time he saw her.

"You're here," his voice slightly trembled as she put her hand on his cheek, mirroring his actions. "Y-You're here."

"I know, and I'm sorry it took awhile. You shouldn't have waited for this long," she replied while he moved his hand to stroke her blonde hair.

He was speechless, words becoming incoherent as he took in the realization that she is really her this time. "I-I can't believe it..."

She wrapped her arms around his waist and buried her face on his chest while Sheldon hugged her tightly, taking in the sweet smell of her green-apple scented hair and silently wishing for the moment to never end.

"I got a degree. I got a job at a nice business firm as a secretary here in the city. Maybe this Penny-blossom idea can be something more. I finished school and worked my ass off to get me to where I am now," she said and then she titled her head to reach his eyes. "To get me to you."

He smiled and bent down until his lips touched hers. It was so much a kiss to show possessiveness or lust. It was more of a chaste kiss- like the one where something new would spark. Sheldon pulled back and continued to smother her with his hug. He just couldn't believe it.

"Penny? Oh-"

Penny immediately looked behind her and smiled. "Jean, this is Sheldon. The guy from California I used to live across from. Sheldon, this is Jean, my sister."

"So you're the great Dr. Sheldon Cooper? I can totally see why my little sister here blushes madly at every picture she sees of you," Jean chuckled as she picked up the box Penny was carrying before. "Well, you guys catch up. I'll be upstairs unpacking."

Sheldon couldn't help but smirk. "You live across the hall from me again huh?"

"Yes," she answered as she played with the strap of his messenger bag. "Maybe it's not a coincidence. Maybe it was intentional."

He raised his eyebrows and she giggled. It was music to his ears. "Intentional?"

"I may or may not have asked your ex-roommate living in the west coast what your current address is."

Sheldon felt his cheeks redden as he took Penny into his arms again. "And the pictures of me?"

"Well, I had to remind myself for whom I'm doing these things for in addition to me. Plus, it killed me everyday not seeing your blue eyes."

"Penelope, I do so love you," he said as he kissed the side of her neck and she delicately combed his soft hair with her fingers.

"And I do so love my Moonpie," she responded and Sheldon didn't care that she used the nickname his grandmother gave him. In fact, he didn't care about anything else but the woman in his arms.

He pulled away once more and she groaned. "How would you like to go on a date with me?"

"What do you have in mind?" Penny asked, green eyes looking into blue. _Pure magic_.

"Dinner and possibly taking you out for dancing?" Sheldon suggested.

"But you don't dance," she stated and he nodded.

"I do not. How about having dinner only instead?" he countered.

Penny kissed him softly and he sighed when she stopped. "Hopefully you know a good Thai restaurant. After all, it's Monday. Deal?"

"Deal," Sheldon agreed and captured her lips once again.

It was truly the beginning of something new. Something special. Something long lasting. The start of something beautiful, and it all came to be after they set each other free, only to reunite at the end.

* * *

><p><em>"When two hearts are meant for each other, no distance is too far, no time too long and no other love can break them apart."<em>

* * *

><p><strong>AN:**

**Well, that's the end/beginning of Sheldon and Penny in this alternate universe. I do apologize for taking too long to update. It really shouldn't have taken me two months to finish four chapters. Anyways, this is my first complete multi-chapter! This is the result of watching too many drama movies and the need to write more Shenny stories. I hope most of you enjoyed it and a big thanks for all the reviews!  
><strong>

**Also: **

**I'm about 900 words into the epilogue of my other story, The Confrontation Alternative, but I'm not sure when it will be finished completely. I'm also planning on posting a one-shot on New Year's Eve, so look out for that if interested in reading more.**

**Enjoy the rest of your day!**


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